Well, I thought I could make an adequate post of my growing “art desk” and how I am trying to get art supplies the “free way”, which I’m sure many of you would be interested in, but I just HAVE to blow off this rant of multiple things that happened in school today, so hear me out. I will post an article of the art supplies though, so don’t worry. 😉 I also don’t make (or even want to, for that matter) rants that often either.
There was a sub today for 1/2 period, and blah blah blah. (You will see a lot of “blahs” throughout) Same old normal school morning blah blah you get the deal. The sub was calling out names. “Tommy, Sarah, BLAH.” Okay, there’s nobody in my class named Tommy or Sarah. xD (Trying to cheer myself up with some humor, bare with me please.. ;-;)
But anyways, when she got to my name, I raised my hand to signal I’m here. You know, just regularly raising my hand. I guess I didn’t raise it high enough since she was about to mark me absent, when the other students said to the sub in a hurry that I was here. I looked concerned and raised my hand up a bit more while shaking it a bit to get attention, then she finally noticed me.
That’s when out of nowhere, one of the students (I won’t name) just said something like “She doesn’t talk or just doesn’t speak English!” A lot of people were staring at me, some going back to each other to talk. I was just about fumed inside. Of course I didn’t show it. My normal average everyday expression.
Now, here’s a little thing about me to back this up, since you may be confused.
As I said in the last post, I’m an introvert, plus a quiet person who usually likes to stay alone. Let me just describe how being an introvert works for all the extroverts that just don’t get introverts.
“I stay alone.”
Q: “Are you lonely? Don’t you have any friends?”
A: Well sadly I don’t have any friends, since people just don’t get me. I’m not lonely most of the time though, being alone is how I “recharge”. You see, when I’m around a lot of people for a long period of time or hear people talking loudly I start feeling really stressed. Seriously, keep me in that cramped up room where there are a lot of people talking loudly and I will BLOW. By “blow”, I mean getting cranky and such, feeling like if somebody dares even look at me or talk to me I will punch them in the face. Now I’ve never punched anyone in the face or insulted anyone because I keep my feelings well inside and use the anger on drawing or writing, usually.
When I’m almost out of “battery”, A.K.A. as I said before, being around a lot of people blah blah, I get cranky and just not myself. A bad side of myself.
As I also said before, MOST times I’m not lonely, that doesn’t mean I’m completely antisocial like people seem to think about introverts. When I overcharge, A.K.A. opposite of almost out of battery, when I stay alone too often, I will get lonely. I don’t really do anything about it to be honest.. I just usually slump and put my head down a lot more than I usually do.
Middle is best. I’m completely fine. No loud annoyance and no being completely alone and nobody talking to me for a long period of time. Not like anyone even talks to me or even tries to get to know me other than saying “Hi” a lot.. using a sort of tone like I’m some alien just discovered from another planet.. or saying “Why are you so quiet?” thinking I’ll automatically “loosen up” after they say that. Honestly.. it’s a dumb question. It’s part of my personality. It’s also as rude as someone would say “Why are you so loud?” unless being loud is part of your personality as well.
I’m quiet because I’m quiet. I can be not quiet at times, you know.. not loud but using a more medium voice volume. If only people would get to know me and not automatically think I’m a snob or rude, thinking I’m “too cool” to talk to people, thinking I have a problem, or just thinking I’m a boring person just because I’m quiet. Also.. where in the world do people get “Ooh, I bet you’re super loud at home!” No. I use the same tone of voice I would my friends (old friends.. unfortunately.. :/) I don’t know, I guess some are super loud other areas, but not me.
I’m definitely not a boring person. Last one is that people say I never “express myself”. Now for another explanation..
Talking isn’t the only way to express yourself, but I guess people are too STUPID to understand that. Excuse my language, but this topic just ticks me off so badly! I know all extroverts, or even most aren’t extreme motormouths.. I don’t judge. But for people who only find expression in talking, and assumes anyone who doesn’t talk all that much is “emotionless”, then read on.
Hmm.. other ways to express yourself other than talking.. (You can actually express yourself in other ways except talking?!! Impossible!) Yeah.. look. Just because you blurt out whatever is in your mind, doesn’t mean others do too. Let’s try face expressions. Writing. Singing. Playing instruments. Drawing. Making crafts and such. Even certain habits. You chew on your hair when you’re nervous. That’s expressing yourself. You tap your feet when you’re impatient. Expressing. You get fidgety when you’re lying. That’s expressing. For instance, if you are scared of being on stage and afraid to talk to certain people, blah blah, you’re generally a shy person. BOOM found a new personality trait without having to rely on their talking. I can give millions more but I’m pretty sure you get the deal. I express myself in many ways, MANY. Yeah, expression in terms of talking isn’t my main source of expressing myself.
Okay, now to get back to the story. Why are my classmates so RUDE? Everyone just turned back to do their own business; just a bunch of papers since a majority of the people went on a field trip. Not like I wanted attention or anything, I got enough of their nasty attention anyways.
At least I was the only person in the class to finish the papers, in which the sub said he doubted we would. Coool~~ I guess. I’m not really excited for that matter but whatever. It’s nice to prove somebody wrong. xD
Oh well. There will always be people who don’t even attempt to try to know somebody. Seriously.. if I didn’t know English (which is in fact my first and pretty much only full-learned language) why would I be in the Advanced homeroom? Why would I be in a high-scoring English class? Pshh. Common sense, you know..
In fact I heard the person who said that has bad grades himself, even our math teacher questioned him being at this level, since he was below compared to the rest of the class. Plus a few other people who had low grades.
Hmm.. I don’t even know why I’m mad. Look at him! At least I don’t get in trouble a lot. He’s just one of those motormouths that what they say= what’s on their mind. Plus going THAT far?! Really? I’m quiet means I’m quiet means I’m quiet. I can go forever, so just shush. It doesn’t mean I’m dumb, or a snob, or it doesn’t mean I don’t know English, for sakes. Can’t people just accept introverts in general (not just quiet people; not all introverts are quiet) without coming up with so many pathetic excuses?
Okay, maybe some may be true. But just don’t automatically assume those excuses, because most of the time it’s not even true.
Funny thing is everybody just went on as it never existed before.. wondered what they had on their mind.. probably “True!” or “Ooh” making a troll face.. expecting me to get an attitude or something, which is not my style. I’m here to break stereotypes.. as a black introvert that it. Yes, a black introvert/quiet person exists. =.=
Well, that’s all. This 2-day long post. I have to get ready for school now, it’s early. *yawn*
Thank you for reading this long rant! Hope some of you learned a bit..
(P.S. I will make the art desk article afterwards; most likely after school)